You are not like us
You are different.
I couldn’t see that
That was a compliment…
Tag Archives: magika
I’ll Never Let You Go…
You always make me do those things, things, things
Shut me up then make me sing, sing, sing…
On Broken Wings, I’m Barely Flying
“This place reminds me
I keep my eyes wide shut to hide
Denying you’re gone now
And I am down here all alone
Some said that time will heal me
I need to get to higher ground
But I don’t wanna feel it…
I… I… Let the pain come…”
At first, there was something therapeutic about the soft drumming of raindrops as they hit the roof, one after another, almost as steady as a heartbeat. At first. The sound wove itself together with the things around it, sometimes drowned out by the gentle hum of the radio, or by the sound of the waves lapping against the shore just outside the window. Yes. At first, there was something therapeutic about it. But then?
Then, the clouds would roll back just long enough for the sun to say its goodbyes and usher in the night, and the bed she used to share with him, empty on the left now, and the room that held it, and the house that held it… Everything would get swallowed whole by the darkness, and then there was no sound. No sound except of course for the frenzied beating of her heart. At night, everything melted away, leaving nothing but one-half of what used to be “them” curled against a pillow on the queen-sized bed, breathing in the scent of him that was slowly fading on the over-sized t-shirt she’d found stuffed in the back of the closet after she got the news.
At first, after it happened, the rain would soothe her. Any sound, really, that confirmed that she wasn’t alone was soothing. But soon, there was no comfort-only emptiness and a silence that was nearly deafening. She could hardly stand it. Most mornings, when the sun poked through the window to wake her, she’d find herself curled on the rug by the bed that used to be theirs, the pillow she’d clung to for dear life laying discarded on the floor. She’d lay there a moment, her eyes adjusting to the new light in the room, and breathe him in again, and for a moment, a small smile would cross her face. Then, and only then, could she pick herself up off of the floor, knowing not only that he wouldn’t be there to help her stand, but that she had to, regardless, because she knew what he might say if he could and she didn’t. She knew what he might say, and she couldn’t disappoint him. She couldn’t disappoint him because she loved him, and he had loved her.
She knew that one day, she would learn to stand the silence. One day, she’d wake up with her head still on the pillow, safe and warm in her own bed. One day, her heart wouldn’t break all over again when she saw “his” side undisturbed. One day, someone would come along, and he’d help her put all of the pieces back together, and she’d smile again…really smile again. And she knew, deep down, that she would be able to do those things, because even though he was gone, he had loved her, and he had taught her to love, and she would carry that lesson with her, she knew, until she could see him again and thank him properly for it.
[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Hair][Magika][Bad Habit]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska][Plias Lips]
[Teeth][PXL][OpenMouth Pro Basic]
[T-Shirt][[Cynful] Clothing & Co][Casual Cut]
[Tattoo – Legs][[White~Widow]][Charade (Henna)]
[Pose][DeePosed][The Bed’s Too Big Without You 5]
[Inspiration Tune][Bill Kaulitz – Love Don’t Break Me]
[Location][La Vie]
Don’t Tell Me it’s Just a Dream…
So, to say that it’s been a long day… or a long couple of days… would be an understatement. But as usual, I’m always still good. Always still kicking. I’ve been dealing with a lot in real life, and working my butt off in Second Life, and I’ve realized a few things:
- My time is valuable. And:
- Hard work pays off. Sometimes it takes a while, but it always pays off. And that makes everything worth it.
Regardless of everything that has been going on, I’m just really glad that things are working out. It’s been amazing, and I’m so glad that I have the friends that I do in SL that have helped me to grow and succeed, and who have managed to stick with me even through all of this craziness.
Thank you all.
It makes me really happy to look at where I’ve come from and where I’m at today, because I can see the difference. And you know what? That’s a little celebration worthy, as far as I’m concerned. In light of my party mood, I wanted to share a few new releases with you today! This is the Eonie dress from RAPTURE. Super short, sexy, and fun (and I loooove those straps hanging down). I paired it with these fabulous heels from Slipper Originals I’d talk about how much I love them, too, but we’d be here all day…
In any case, I’ve been a busy bee, and it’s time to get back to the grind, but if you thought even for a second that I’d forget to give you the details, you were wrong! You want the details, right?
Of course you do!
[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Hair][Magika][Hush]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska][Sable Lips #2]
[Teeth][PXL][OpenMouth Pro Basic]
[Dress][RAPTURE][Eonie – Purple]
[Shoes][Slipper Originals @ The Thift Shop][Anna Sandals
[Inspiration Tune][Hoku – Perfect Day]
Even if it’s Just in Your Wildest Dreams…
So,the other day, the lovely Tiviyah challenged me to do a ‘Roast Yourself’ challenge. That’s coming up soon… trust me. I have ~plans for that one. Be prepared. That’s all I’m going to say. See, sometimes, I like to think that I’m pretty funny… I guess you’ll have to find out when I finish it, right?
But first, I had this photo and wanted to share this with you guys. It’s the VIP Group Gift from RAPTURE (top only – bottom is from Blueberry – details below!) Anyway, this is RAPTURE’s VIP Group Gift, and it’s got some definitely sexy undertones. In my case, the color meshed really well with my skin tone, and I had a bit of fun picking out poses.
Lately, things in my life have been a little…hectic, to say the least. Everything is finally starting to calm down a little bit (thank goodness) but to say I’ve been exhausted is probably a bit of an understatement. I just wish I could snap my fingers and magically complete all of the things that need to be done around here–it’s the pipe-dream of a young woman worn a little too thin, I know, but it’s a nice thought, right?
I kind of thought that this photo reflected that a little bit.
Want the details?
[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Hair][Magika][Honey Whiskey]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska @ Uber][Nava Lips #2]
[Teeth][PXL][OpenMouth Pro Basic]
[Top][RAPTURE][VIP Group Gift – Kris Tee – Taupe]
[Bottom][BLUEBERRY][Selena Side-Tied Panties (Cherry)]
[Inspiration Tune][Taylor Swift – Wildest Dreams]
Livin’ it Up in the City…
I was in a fun mood today. I’ve also been trying to get caught up on blogging after spending some time away. Today, I bring you a fun new release from [Cynful] and my new favorite pair of jeans (which says a lot, because if you knew how many pairs I had in my inventory, you’d probably have a heart attack).
I love the ‘Shoes’ poses from ProPose. I grabbed several of them just after ProPose opened its doors, and they are some of my favorites… Especially when you’ve got awesome new shoes to show off. I didn’t get the chance to blog the Gia heels when they first came out, but I love them. Like everything I’ve seen from Slipper Originals, they are HUD driven and completely customizable. Love it, and I like to think that they look pretty good!
My top is from [Cynful], and I feel like an absolute goddess in it. Fitting, I guess, since it’s called the “Goddess” top. I have a love/love relationship with most everything involving lace, and this is another item that is HUD driven. You can customize the base and the lace overlay, so there’s tons of possibilities. I’ve had a ~thing for pink lately, and I think I’m pulling off that whole “pretty in pink” thing pretty well!
I’m also going to talk about these jeans. Blueberry is not one of my sponsors (*le sigh* – Blogging Bucket List for sure!) and I actually told myself for a while that I wasn’t going to buy these jeans. See, I fell in love with Blueberry a while ago, and then fell even more in love with Blueberry after winning a contest that the beautiful Tiviyah held on her blog a while ago. I won a gift card, and I went on a squee-filled shopping spree…
But I kept seeing these jeans everywhere, and as fabulous as they were, I kept telling myself, “I want them. I want them. But I’m not going to buy them. Not yet. Not yet. Just let yourself stew on it, Nova.”
I caved, because willpower is not a thing I really have… and I bought them, and I love them. They’re also HUD driven. You can customize the belt color, turn the belt on or off (I love the belt, though. Love.), change the button metal colors, and even subtly change the color of the rips in the jeans.
Let’s talk for a minute about how long it took me to build this outfit for no other reason than the fact that I sat here and played with these color options for a long time. But, of course, pink won, because…
Because pink. That’s why.
Want the details?
Sure you do!
[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Hair][Magika][Bad Habit]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska @ Uber][Nava Lips #2]
[Teeth][PXL][OpenMouth Pro Basic]
[Tattoo][[White Widow]][Altar]
[Bracelet][^^Swallow^^][Metal Cuff Bracelet]
[Top][[Cynful] Clothing & Co][Goddess Top]
[Jeans][Blueberry][Pizza – Light Blue]
[Shoes][Slipper Originals][Gia Heels]
[Pose][ProPose][Shoes 1]
[Inspiration Tune][Mark Ronson ft Bruno Mars – Uptown Funk]
Some Beach, Somewhere…
Ever want to just click your heels and be somewhere else for a little while?
That’s where I’m at right now.
These last couple weeks, I’ve found myself wanting to close my eyes and wishing that I could be anywhere but here. My little brother has been sick, we’re in the middle of a move, and logging into Second Life and keeping myself busy has pretty much helped me stay sane.
It’s pretty cool that, at least in Second Life, you really can close your eyes and be somewhere else. Today, I chose the beach. This sim is one of my favorites to go to for photos, and when I want to relax in general. It’s called *Among the Wildflowers* and it’s super pretty. When I was looking through some of the new releases from some of my lovely sponsors and from this round of ReVAMPED, I found a few fun pieces that I knew I just had to pair together and have some fun with. We all need at least one good beach look, right?
I mean, I personally need two or three, but in light of the circumstances of the last couple weeks, I think I’ve managed to get myself off to a good start, don’t you?
I am in LOVE with {Posh Pixels}. This is the “Beach Babe” bikini. The bikini comes with the hat and the bag pictured, but also includes some other items I haven’t pictured–some sandals and a super cute pair of glasses. If you’re not like me and you don’t like to mix-n-match with your wardrobe, it’s perfect–an adorable and complete beach-ready look for summer.
I paired it with the fabulous Shania Sandals from Slipper Originals. I had to have some fun with these. Every detail on these sandals is HUD customizable (as seems to be the norm for Slipper Originals) and every release I’ve seen from SO just makes me want to squee and dance in the sand. I customized the Shania sandals (available, along with the “Beach Babe” ensemble from {Posh Pixels}, at the current round of ReVAMPED) to match the rest of the outfit, and added some fabulous bling from TANTALUM Jewelry.
Bring it on, summer time.
Want the details?
[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Hair][Magika][Honey Whiskey]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska @ Uber][Nava Lips #2]
[Teeth][PXL][OpenMouth Pro Basic]
[Belly Chain][Tantalum @ ReVAMPED][Rain Bellychain]
[Necklace][Tantalum @ ReVAMPED][Rain Showers Willow Branch Necklace]
[Bikini and Accessories][{Posh Pixels} @ ReVAMPED][Beach Babe]
[Sandals][Slipper Originals @ ReVAMPED][Shania Sandals]
I Found Myself Dreaming…
First off, I meant to post this blog literally ages ago, but I’ve been a little ~slow on the uptake lately.
This gown was available at the June round of ReVAMPED, which ends today. It’s the Birdy Gown from {Wynd}. This designer is a good friend of mine, and let me tell you–I want this gown in literally every color it comes in. If you’re curious, check out her store. Awesome color options, and this gown looks fabulous with and without the cape. Just sayin’.
Anyway, the other day, when I was working on this photo, I had been doing a lot of thinking. There have been some things going on in my real life in the last couple weeks that have been both amazing and terrifying. I’m getting ready to have another surgery. Terrifying. An agent is interested in my manuscript. Amazing (and also terrifying).
I’ve also been struggling a lot lately with some of the things that have been happening in the world… Namely the tragedy in Orlando. I am a lesbian, and while I’ve never been to Pulse, my heart bleeds for the victims and their families. I’m not upset because I knew anyone there. I’m upset because things like this still actually happen in our world.
I’m upset because I still can’t understand, and perhaps will never be able to understand, how someone could hate someone else like that.
I’m upset because people are trying to police other people-who they love, what they do in their bedrooms or with their bodies–things that are no one else’s business. I just don’t understand at all.
I saw a Facebook post that explained it well, especially for those of you who don’t seem to understand why the LGBT community is so upset, even though the vast majority of us didn’t know these people, and have never been to that club.
It’s because we all know what it feels like to be afraid. To be afraid to be ourselves, to be open with our own families. We know what it’s like to be constantly checking ourselves when we’re out with our significant others. Are people looking at us? Are we making other people uncomfortable? What kind of looks are they giving us? Should we go to the club tonight? Is it going to be safe?
This club, Pulse, was one of those safe havens. One of those places where everyone is welcome, and encouraged to be themselves… and someone walked in, and they destroyed that, and they destroyed so many lives.
I haven’t dated in years. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. Many members of my family still talk to me like they think I’m in a phase. They still send me hurtful messages, post slurs about the gay community. Some of them will never stop doing these things. Some of them have been cut out of my life.
But I was thinking the other day about that, and about what happened at Pulse, and about the outpouring of love and support I have seen from the community. People are planning even MORE pride rallies. Even more events. We want to show these haters that we will not be scared. Love will always conquer hate.
Always.
And when I find that special someone? I’m going to love them, and be proud of who they are and who I am, just like I always have been, no matter how scary it is, and no matter who doesn’t like it. Know why? Because everyone deserves to be happy, and to feel safe, and to be loved.
I don’t know why, but I was taking these photos, and I was listening to this song, and that was all that I could think about.
But since you all are here for the fashion…
[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Eyeshadow][Kodaijin Makeup @ ReVAMPED][Yellow Muted]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Hair][Magika][Meadow]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska @ Uber][Nava Lips #2]
[Teeth][PXL][OpenMouth Pro Basic]
[Dress][{Wynd} @ ReVAMPED June (closing today!)][Birdy Gown – Dreamsicle]
[Inspiration Tune][John Legend & Meghan Trainor – Like I’m Gonna Lose You]
Summer Lovin’…
Sorry, guys. I may or may not have the soundtrack to “Grease” stuck in my head. That, and as you may know from my last post, I’ve been doing a bit of reflecting on relationships and other ~things of that nature. It’s been a weird couple days, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve been bad. That’s good, right?
The summer has been a pretty steamy one so far. Trust me. I know… Because we don’t have air conditioning here (yet). When I was looking at some of my fun new purchases from fashion week, I found this cute jacket/dress combo from Jellyfish Creative Studios. I paired it with these awesome flats from Slipper Originals that are available at this round of ReVAMPED.
Let’s talk for a minute about how rare a good pair of shoes for the Slink flat feet are, okay? And then let’s talk about these. They’re super cute. You can customize every element of the shoe with various colors/patterns, which means you can wear them with almost anything! This time, I’ve turned them yellow and black to match this awesome little dress. And of course, because you gotta make sure the nails look good too, I also snagged this super fabulous Art Deco nail applier set from Luna Body art at .Penumbra.
I’m ready for some summer lovin’, yeah?
Except not. I think I’ll be staying away from that for a little while.
In the meantime, I’ll share the details with you guys!
[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Eyeshadow][Kodaijin Makeup @ ReVAMPED][Caia #15]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Hair][Magika][Honey Whiskey]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska @ Uber][Nava Lips #2]
[Teeth][PXL][OpenMouth Pro Basic]
[Nails][Luna Body Art @ .PENUMBRA SS 2016 FW][Art Deco Slink Nails]
[Dress][Jellyfish Creative Studios @ .PENUMBRA SS 2016 FW][Asime Dress in Buttercup]
[Shoes][Slipper Originals @ ReVAMPED][Zoie Sneakers FP]
[Inspiration Tune][OST Grease – Summer Nights]
Do You Like You?
I think we’ve all been there before. In the modeling world, part of the challenge is trying to fit yourself into whatever the “box of the day” is. One of the first things that you learn is that if you expect to walk on a runway, you’re going to have to learn to adapt yourself. You’re going to have to wear things you don’t like. You’re going to have to step outside of your comfort zone and do things you’ve never done. You might be uncomfortable. You might hate it. You might not feel like yourself, but you do it anyway.
Here’s the thing: I think that so many models forget when we’re tackling these challenges that underneath it all, these people are looking at you. If you can’t find a way to be you in anything you wear, then you’re nothing but a walking mannequin. And I know, I know… That’s kind of the point. But I see a lot of girls who get upset because they find themselves in the midst of something that they don’t understand, something that they’d never do, something that is just as opposite of them as the sun is to the moon.
When some girls don’t win a challenge, when they don’t succeed, they blame it on the challenge. On the judges. On the circumstances. I’ve been there. We’ve all done it. But you know what? Recently, I’ve finally started to grasp that if I don’t be myself, if I worry too much about the “box” I’m supposed to be stuffing myself into, then I lose myself, and THAT is when I lose. You can be yourself no matter what challenge you face. And I’m not talking about wearing the same hair, or wearing the same skin. Think about it. Each time you see a challenge, you probably get a mental picture of what that means to you. And I get one. Everyone does–but our pictures aren’t going to be the same.
Stay true to you. Stay true to that picture inside of your head. While it may be “not quite right” for a particular challenge, you are still being you. That’s what everyone wants to see… those little qualities that make us all unique. Don’t ever let the fact that you aren’t just like everyone else deter you. You don’t have to try so hard that it’s OBVIOUS you’re trying too hard. Just be yourself. I wish I could see more of you being yourself. I can’t even begin to explain the wonderful doors that have started to open for me since I started doing this.
Want the details?
[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Eyeshadow][Zibska @ Uber][Caia #15]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Hair][Magika][Honey Whiskey]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska @ Uber][Nava Lips #2]
[Teeth][PXL][OpenMouth Pro Basic]
[Wrist Cuff][^^Swallow^^][Cuff Bracelet]
[Dress][RAPTURE @ .PENUMBRA SS 2016 FW][Kona – Snorkel]
[Inspiration Tune][Colbie Caillat – Try]
SECOND LIFE DIARIES 