I Found Myself Dreaming…


First off, I meant to post this blog literally ages ago, but I’ve been a little ~slow on the uptake lately.

This gown was available at the June round of ReVAMPED, which ends today. It’s the Birdy Gown from {Wynd}. This designer is a good friend of mine, and let me tell you–I want this gown in literally every color it comes in. If you’re curious, check out her store. Awesome color options, and this gown looks fabulous with and without the cape. Just sayin’.

Anyway, the other day, when I was working on this photo, I had been doing a lot of thinking. There have been some things going on in my real life in the last couple weeks that have been both amazing and terrifying. I’m getting ready to have another surgery. Terrifying. An agent is interested in my manuscript. Amazing (and also terrifying).

I’ve also been struggling a lot lately with some of the things that have been happening in the world… Namely the tragedy in Orlando. I am a lesbian, and while I’ve never been to Pulse, my heart bleeds for the victims and their families. I’m not upset because I knew anyone there. I’m upset because things like this still actually happen in our world.

I’m upset because I still can’t understand, and perhaps will never be able to understand, how someone could hate someone else like that.

I’m upset because people are trying to police other people-who they love, what they do in their bedrooms or with their bodies–things that are no one else’s business. I just don’t understand at all.

I saw a Facebook post that explained it well, especially for those of you who don’t seem to understand why the LGBT community is so upset, even though the vast majority of us didn’t know these people, and have never been to that club.

It’s because we all know what it feels like to be afraid. To be afraid to be ourselves, to be open with our own families. We know what it’s like to be constantly checking ourselves when we’re out with our significant others. Are people looking at us? Are we making other people uncomfortable? What kind of looks are they giving us? Should we go to the club tonight? Is it going to be safe?

This club, Pulse, was one of those safe havens. One of those places where everyone is welcome, and encouraged to be themselves… and someone walked in, and they destroyed that, and they destroyed so many lives.

I haven’t dated in years. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. Many members of my family still talk to me like they think I’m in a phase. They still send me hurtful messages, post slurs about the gay community. Some of them will never stop doing these things. Some of them have been cut out of my life.

But I was thinking the other day about that, and about what happened at Pulse, and about the outpouring of love and support I have seen from the community. People are planning even MORE pride rallies. Even more events. We want to show these haters that we will not be scared. Love will always conquer hate.


And when I find that special someone? I’m going to love them, and be proud of who they are and who I am, just like I always have been, no matter how scary it is, and no matter who doesn’t like it. Know why? Because everyone deserves to be happy, and to feel safe, and to be loved.

I don’t know why, but I was taking these photos, and I was listening to this song, and that was all that I could think about.

But since you all are here for the fashion…

[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Eyeshadow][Kodaijin Makeup @ ReVAMPED][Yellow Muted]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska @ Uber][Nava Lips #2]
[Teeth][PXL][OpenMouth Pro Basic]
[Dress][{Wynd} @ ReVAMPED June (closing today!)][Birdy Gown – Dreamsicle]
[Inspiration Tune][John Legend & Meghan Trainor – Like I’m Gonna Lose You]


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