Ah… Push it.

push it use this one.png

C’mon girls, let’s go show the guys that we know
How to become number one in a hot party show
Now push it…

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Now, You’re Mine

cynful-blog-love-spell-dress-and-choker-ept-zoz-exile

 

I just can’t stand it babe,
the way you’re always runnin’ ’round.
I just can’t stand it, the way you always put me down.
I put a spell on you because you’re mine.

She was the dangerous sort of beautiful. Rare, because she knew it. Even more rare because she knew how to use it. And he? He had abused it-the love, the loyalty, the whole package, as neatly as it was wrapped. He had discarded it, discarded her. But she didn’t cry. Instead, she dressed to kill in a dress meant to showcase everything he was about to lose. She greeted him with a smile and the softness of ruby-red lips, and then she stood back, watching and waiting for revenge to take its course…

cynful-zoz-closeup-glam-affair

[Shape][Mine]
[Head][Lelutka][Stella Mesh Head (v1.6)]
[Skin][Glam Affair][LiuLy (America 01)]
[Body][Slink][Slink Physique (v2.8)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Feet][Slink][AvEnhance Feet (High)]
[Eyes][IKON][Triumph Eyes (Evening)]
[Hair][::Exile::][Nina (Marone)]
[Nails][-{ZOZ}- @ Cosmopolitan Event][Ribbon Polish (Option 1)]
[Tattoo][-Endless Pain Tattoos- @ Bodify][Beyond Deaath (unisex)]
[Dress][[Cynful] Clothing & C0. @ Salem][Love Spell Dress & Choker]
[Pose][DeePosed][ 1 – The Wall 59, 2 – The Wall 60]
[Inspiration Tune][Nina Simone – I Put a Spell on You]

Do You Know How Hard I’ve Tried to Become What You Want Me to Be?

wicca boots genre.png

Take me
This is all that I’ve got
This is all that I’m not
All that I’ll ever be
I’ve got flaws, I’ve got faults
Keep searching for your perfect heart
It doesn’t matter who you are
We all have our scars

Well… It’s been an interesting couple of days to say the least. I feel like I start so many posts like this. I feel like I wish life was a little less interesting, even if for just a couple days. Something good happened. I got accepted to blog for [[Genre]], which is another one of those amazing blogging things that I get to cross off of my Second Life blogging bucket list. I think I may have found a new favorite pair of boots. I guess that’s a good thing, too. It’s just that after I got that coveted acceptance card, I got a phone call, and things really went down hill from there.

Friday night, my Father had a heart attack. Friday night, my Mother called me and asked me where I was, and if I was sitting down, and if someone was there with me, and then she told me that my Father had a heart attack.

Don’t worry. He’s going to be okay. He’ll be out of the hospital by Monday at the latest. The weird thing is, when my Mom told me that he’d had a heart attack, I wasn’t upset. Not for me, anyway. I don’t know if that makes sense, and I don’t want to make myself sound like a monster, but really, when she told me that he’d had a heart attack, I asked the customary, “Is he alright?” question, and I found myself not only fully prepared for it if he wasn’t, but already well past the ‘acceptance’ stage in the grief process.

I’m not a soulless monster. I promise. I’m just having trouble, as the oldest child of six, reconciling the fact that I have no relationship with this man I call Father. It was like hearing that a stranger had a heart attack. My Father has wanted nothing to do with me for well over a decade-and-a-half of my life. I’ve spent the last 24 hours on the phone playing therapist for my agoraphobic stepmother and my little brothers and sisters, listening to them talk about what a great man they think he is and smiling and nodding and telling them that they’ll be fine, that he’ll be fine, that the doctors said so, that they have nothing to worry about… And I don’t even know the man they’re talking about. It’s like it’s a completely different person.

And that makes me kind of sad.

But I digress. Let’s make a long story short and focus on the fashion, because sometimes Second Life is the only fun I have in either life, and this weekend is clearly one of those.

 

When I get upset like this, I find that keeping my hands busy helps me keep myself together, so I found myself looking through some of the previews from the upcoming [[Genre]] round, and I found these awesome boots from Wicca’s Wardrobe, and they made me smile, and I don’t think I’ve smiled since we got the news about my Dad. They’re absolutely gorgeous.

You may not read this Wicca, but sometimes such small things make a difference in someone’s day, and I don’t know how much I fangirled about these boots to Tivi when I saw them, how many different poses and props I tried out, how many different angles for the photo… It’s been a really bad couple days and here was this Wicca’s Wardrobe box from the upcoming round of [[Genre]], and inside were the fabulous purple (my favorite color!) boots, and all I want to do is prance around Second Life and show them off and take pictures and talk about their fabulousness.

Thank you, oh mighty awesome peeps behind [[Genre]] for giving me the chance to blog for you, and thank you Wicca for your continued epicness, and thank you everyone who actually reads these ramblings, because writing makes me feel better.

I love you all.

But enough about me. Y’all want the details, don’t you?

[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska][Billie Lips #5]
[Eyeshadow][Zibska][Arlie Eye Makeup #15]
[Tattoo][[White Widow]][Altar]
[Hair][::Exile::][Nina (Marone)]
[Bathing Suit][Blueberry][Michelle (White)]
[Boots][Wicca’s Wardrobe @ [[GENRE]] August Round][Fleur Boots (Purple and Black)]
[Inspiration Tune][Alison Iraheta – Scars]

Come Away Little Loss…

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Sorry, guys. This song has been stuck in my head for days, which of course means I had to use it in a blog post. Most of the time I can’t stand Maroon 5, but something about this song just gives me chills. It just seems so sad.

I love it. I love things, especially music, that evoke some emotion, and this song does that for me. I’ve definitely been in a mood lately. I wouldn’t call it sad, but things have been interesting around here. I’m doing well. Things could be better, but I’m still kicking, as always.

And speaking of still kicking, the amazing Zzoie Dethly is a friend of mine, and the mind behind [ZanZe]. Earlier this year, in true SL fashion, Second Life ate a large portion of her inventory…including a lot of her meshes. Let’s talk about how devastating the mere thought of that is for a second. It’s awful. Meshes are expensive. Custom meshes are even more expensive, and the work that a designer puts into their designs goes on top of all that…

Luckily, she has recovered, and [ZanZe] is back with some awesome new releases! This is the Aisha Dress. It comes in several color options, but we all know I’m a fan of the black and white, so that’s what you get to see here. I love this. It’s just different and fun and perfect for summer.And because I’m landlocked in real life and surrounded by corn, I took myself to the beach today! This is going to go on my list of favorite beaches in SL for sure. Tons of photo ops! But I digress…

It’s going to be a long day, so instead of rambling on about how much I wish I could hit the fast-forward button in life (or, ya know, invent one, because let’s be honest…) I’m just going to leave you with this.

Ready for the details?

Of course you are.

[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Lashes][*Mon Cheri*][Falsies – Mesh Lashes]
[Hair][::Exile::][Nina (Marone)]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska @ Uber][Nava Lips #2]
[Teeth][PXL][OpenMouth Pro Basic]
[Nails][ZOZ @ ReVAMPED][DSignature Reds Black Tip]
[Dress][[ZanZe]][Aisha Dress [Monos HUD]]
[Shoes][Slipper Originals @ Aloha Fair][Oceana Sandals]
[Inspiration Tune][Maroon 5 – Come Away to the Water]

Build Me Up, Buttercup!

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This whole process has been absolutely amazing, and I know I’ve talked about that a lot, but I feel like I just can’t drive that point home enough. I have had a serious thing for yellow this summer (even with my own collection) so when I was thinking about what I wanted to do with this next blog post, I absolutely HAD to use this super cute outfit from Emerald Couture. I’m gettin’ down to business today in the “Summer Business” outfit in Buttercup (yay–yellow!). It even comes with the shoes!

Shoe-a-holics, raise your hands! Meetings will be held on Wednesdays, at the nearest shoe store…

*ahem*

Yeah, I have a small shoe problem in SL, so I love when cute outfits like this come complete with super cute shoes to match. Emerald Couture has a lot more loveliness to offer at the .Penumbra retail sim, so if you haven’t checked it out, you probably should. Items will be up until June 5th, and after that? Well, I can’t tell you what each individual designer is going to do with their items, but it’s fabulous, so you should still check it out.

Okay. I’ll shut up now and give you the details. I’m also going to be make sure that all of  you get a song stuck in your head. Ready for it?

[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Hair][::Exile::][Nina (Marone)]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska]Plais Lips #4]
[Outfit/Shoes][Emerald Couture @ .PENUMBRA SS 16 FW][Summer Business in Buttercup]
[Inspiration Tune][The Foundations – Build Me Up Buttercup]

Who Runs the World?

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Wow, guys. What an amazing experience .Penumbra’s Spring/Summer 2016 Fashion Week has been so far! This year, I’m participating (for the first time!) as a triple threat! — Behind the scenes, as a designer, and of course, as you can see by following this blog, as a blogger.

I have been following LaVian & Co since before they were LaVian, and I actually had trouble deciding which of the amazing offerings for Fashion Week to blog. I decided on the “Another Star” outfit. This is a belted one-piece shorts outfit with a buttoned top. I went with bag 2, because patterns! There’s two versions–solids, and these delightful patterns. There’s so many different options even in bag 2 alone that you could probably wear it every day for weeks! Not that I’ve considered that… *cough*

.Penumbra is also holding a photo contest (check the website for details), so I decided to have a bit of fun with this photo and sat myself right on top of LaVian’s fabulous logo in their stall at Fashion Week’s retail market.

If you haven’t been to see any of the amazing shows this summer or checked out anything at the retail location, you totally should. There’s even a table full of group gifts! (Just wear your .Penumbra tags and you should be able to get them!)

Stay tuned to my blog for more updates! And in the meantime, show the lovely Samantha Jones some love and check out this and other amazing pieces from her .Penumbra SS 2016 Fashion Week releases!

Curious?

[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Hair][::Exile::][Like Lovers Do (Marone)]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska]Plais Lips #4]
[Outfit][LaVian&Co @ .Penumbra SS 2016 FW][Another Star (Bag 2)]
[Inspiration Tune][Beyonce – Run the World (Girls)]

Your Shine is Something Like a Mirror…

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Aren’t you something to admire, ’cause your shine is something like a mirror
And I can’t help but notice, you reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I’m always parallel on the other side…

 

So… It’s truth time. Here’s the thing. I have a really bad anxiety disorder. I’ve had it for years. What this means is that my brain is going about ninety miles an hour all the time. It means I worry about things over which I have control. It means that I stress, and have trouble sleeping, and sometimes I’m a little moody, because when you have a disorder like this, it’s absolutely maddening to realize that you have little to no control over your body. You recognize that you have no control over the thing. You recognize that the thing is a silly thing that you shouldn’t worry about. And yet your mind still races and your body still hurts, and you still lose sleep over the thing because the thing exists and therefore your body, your mind, won’t let you leave the thing alone.

How I used to deal with this was avoiding all the “things” that made me nervous. Unfortunately, I discovered, this meant that I was avoiding lots of things… Including things that had once given me joy before my body went haywire and decided that even the smallest of worries was going to metastasize into some horrible monster that lived in my head.

Back in 2010, I worked for the woman behind the **Angelwing** brand. I was her head model, and often spent many hours talking to her about her creations, and about how I would love to open up my own store one day. For years, I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it because the mere thought of the anxiety that doing that thing would produce gave me anxiety. But then, finally, in November of 2015, I took a deep breath and said, “Okay. I’m going to do the thing.” I figured if the store gave me too much anxiety, I could cut my losses and move on.

But then I fell in love with it. And then, recently, I was invited to .PENUMBRA’s Spring/Summer 2016 Fashion Week, and I was so excited. Today, I got to see my summer casuals line on a runway, and it quickly became one of the proudest moments in my SL career. It was an amazing show with beautiful models and a gorgeous runway, and I was so proud. And even though the simple act of sitting there and knowing that everyone in attendance would be staring at my creations and likely judging them (as is a common thing in fashion land–I’m guilty of it, too) gave me anxiety, I still did it. And I’m so glad I did.

After the show, I walked around the retail sim to decompress and check out some of the other designers’ stalls, and I’m ashamed to say that I’ve never shopped at Entice before. I stopped in front of their stall and decided that Entice was going to be added to my list of things that are “Better Than Sliced Bread.” One of the benefits of being a blogger, I discovered, was that I was actually able to nab a few of the super cute creations that Entice has up for sale. I couldn’t make up my mind at first, but eventually settled on the Marigold Swimsuit in Chevron. I can tell you how it’s even more adorable when you’ve got it on. I can tell you the picture doesn’t do it justice. I can EVEN tell you that I’ll be as close to front row tomorrow when Entice hits the runway as I possibly can because I know how well those lovely ladies did with my stuff and I’m sure they’ll rock hers, too…

But to get the real experience, you have to try it for yourself. If you’ve never been to a .PENUMBRA event, it’s fabulous. If you’re curious, you should go. Because let’s be honest… Even though you don’t know what you’ll find, you might end up pleasantly surprised. Check it out! In the meantime, if you’re curious…

[Shape][Mine]
[Skin][((=alterego=))][Dionne (Neutre)]
[Hands][Slink][AvEnhance Hands (Elegant)]
[Eyes]IKON][Sunrise Eyes (Azure Light)]
[Hair][::Exile::][Like Lovers Do (Marone)]
[Face][Madrid Solo][Hustle (Blush, Moles, Freckles)]
[Lips][Zibska]Plais Lips #4]
[Swimsuit][ENTICE @.PENUMBRA SS 16 FW][Marigold Swimsuit (Chevron)]
[Inspiration Tune][Justin Timberlake – Mirrors]