There Was Nothing Missing on the Day I Died…


I have never felt like this before.
Felt my body sinking to the grassy floor…
No, I have never known a love like this.
Felt the flaming arrows of the Hunter’s Kiss…

I’m tired. I’m just really tired of the ugliness lately. Most of the time, I try to ignore it. Sometimes, that’s easier said than done. Lately, I’ve been hearing of my name coming up in a negative light in situations in which I wasn’t even involved. This is Second Life. It’s not the first time I’ve seen my name needlessly dragged through the mud by a coward with nothing better to do than to bully other people on a forum which–let’s be honest here–gives them no consequence as they hide behind anonymity.

It must be a sad life to have either nothing better to do, or to feel that you must put down other people in order to make yourself feel better. It’s practically impossible to even voice your opinion about something nowadays without someone deciding to drag you, your hard work, your name, into the mud. And that’s sad. That’s really sad. I pity the people who feel that they must act that way. And what’s worse is despite cleaning out my friends list on both SL and Facebook, I’m sure some of them are reading this right now, patting themselves on the back as though they have accomplished something truly grand because I’m sitting here writing this now.

To those of you whose names I know, and to those of you whose names I don’t know, I pity you. I am truly sorry that your life is so unfortunate that you feel that you must be a bully online to make yourself feel better. Perhaps you went through something similar when you were younger. Perhaps your parents, or society, taught you that this sort of behavior was nothing more than character building. Perhaps something that you experienced made you think that it was somehow okay to treat others like nothing more than a pebble in your shoe.

Well, it’s not.

I came to Second Life years ago for the same reason that many of you did. I wanted to play around. I wanted to meet new people I might not have otherwise met. I wanted to learn and experience new things. I wanted to have fun. I wanted a little escape from the ugliness of the world and the exhausting daily ridiculousness that often plagues us all. And I found that. But in certain communities, I also found a vicious ugliness that far outweighs anything I ever experienced in “real life”–and that is pretty damn sad.

But here’s the thing. I didn’t come to Second Life to deal with that kind of crap. I didn’t come to Second Life to constantly worry about which anonymous mud-slinger was going to say what next. I didn’t come to Second Life to be name-called, or belittled, or to have everything from what I do for fun to the things I put hours upon hours of work into every week questioned. This is MY Second Life. It is mine, and if you don’t like it, there’s plenty of ways to ignore it and me without pulling my name into your petty, meaningless dribble. I use many of these methods every single day. Hell, there’s a few names I could probably rightfully put on blast, but do you see me doing that? No?

That’s right. Because we’re all adults. Gossip and lies, name-calling… that’s all child’s play.

Unfortunately, I realize that I could say most of this until I’m blue in the face, and those of you perpetuating this bull would probably clap and wait for me to pass out.

So here’s what I’m going to do: I’m taking a step back. I’ll be cutting back on my blogging and stepping away from a few sponsors. I’ll definitely be taking a step away from model land, where it seems most of this drama is coming from, and focusing more on myself again and the things I like to do, whether other people like it or not. I am over all of the ugliness, and if more bloggers, if more models and more creators… if people in general would just stand up when this kind of crap happens instead of sitting silently while others throw stones or laughing because this week it isn’t you, Second Life would be a much different place. If magazines and agencies, sim owners, creators…if they would stand up and say “this is NOT okay. There are consequences to these actions,” perhaps that small handful of people trying to ruin for the rest of us would think twice.

Then again, perhaps it is that many are already standing up. Perhaps that’s why ┬áso many of these bullies feel the need to hide behind anonymity–because they know that there would be consequences to their words and actions. Because they know what they are doing is wrong. Because they are too cowardly to say the things that they say as themselves…

It’s sad. Really sad. And I pity those of you like that. But I’m still removing myself from the equation. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I’m done dealing with flinging poo every day when I log into Second Life. It stinks. From now on, my Second Life is going to be what it used to be… Fun.

[Photo Inspiration Tune: Rasputina – Hunter’s Kiss]


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